1 blog and 1 fan from the winning blog will each win an ecopy of
Fashionably Dead Down Under from Robyn! So make sure you share this post and
comment on this post with where you shared as well as what your email
is!!!
Fashionably Dead in Diapers: Hot Damned Series Book 4
by Robyn Peterman
Genre: Paranormal Romance
And I thought being half Vampyre/half Demon was
hard…That’s nothing compared to being a mother. Sweet baby Moses in a boob
tube, there aren’t any books on raising True Immortals so let me give you a few
tips…
~Make a map of every closet and bathroom in your home if
you enjoy having sex. Sleep deprivation can cause confusion and a map will help
if you only have seven minutes and thirty-one seconds. You’re welcome.
~Parenting
books are useless if you're not human. If your child is half Vampyre/ half
Demon I would suggest not using parenting books at all--they can backfire like
a mother humper. Trust me on this.
~Have
sex.
~When
your child tells you he has an imaginary friend, do not discount this as
fantasy. Often times your child isn't imagining anything. If he persists with
alarming and violent stories about this fictional buddy it's probably a Troll.
Do a thorough search of your home and kill it. Decapitation works best. Some
imaginary friends are harmless. However, it's wise not to take chances.
~Have
sex again.
~When
in large crowds, make sure you hold tight to your child's hand. Losing a child
in an amusement park is terrifying. If you're truly paranoid a parent could
consider putting a chip in their child. If you do this don't discuss it at
dinner parties. People will think you are weird.
~At
least cuddle.
~Playing
with dolls is fun. Being one? No so much. If your child ever finds a Genie in a
bottle, flush it immediately. Many children wish for things that are very
difficult to reverse...like being doll sized. If this happens, move to Oz.
There are many people of small stature there. And yes, it really does exist.
~Find
a closet and go to town.
Get the first book in this series Free!
Fashionably
Dead (Hot Damned Series, Book 1)
Vampyres don’t exist. They absolutely do not exist.
At
least I didn’t think they did ‘til I tried to quit smoking and ended up Undead.
Who in the hell did I screw over in a former life that my getting healthy
equates with dead?
Now
I’m a Vampyre. Yes, we exist whether we want to or not. However, I have to
admit, the perks aren’t bad. My girls no longer jiggle, my ass is higher than a
kite and the latest Prada keeps finding its way to my wardrobe. On the
downside, I’m stuck with an obscenely profane Guardian Angel who looks like
Oprah and a Fairy Fighting Coach who’s teaching me to annihilate like the
Terminator.
To
complicate matters, my libido has increased to Vampyric proportions and my
attraction to a hotter than Satan’s underpants killer rogue Vampyre is not only
dangerous . . . it’s possibly deadly. For real dead. Permanent death isn’t on
my agenda. Avoiding him is my only option. Of course, since he thinks I’m his,
it’s easier said than done. Like THAT’S not enough to deal with, all the other
Vampyres think I’m some sort of Chosen One.
Holy
Hell, if I’m in charge of saving an entire race of blood suckers, the Undead
are in for one hell of a ride.
No comments:
Post a Comment